21 days

21 is a significant number, isn't it? 21 is the drinking age. In twenty-one days you can develop a habit.

Wind down days are odd for me-- the in between days when I've just completed a major period or task and I'm waiting to start a new one.

Logically, I'm aware that I overextend myself- working full time and going to school full time; but my brain and body(somewhat) survive the abuse I put them through. A part of me thinks it's advisable to keep as busy as I do. I can't imagine how anyone gets anything done if they don't keep a tight schedule. While I'm in the midst of all the pressure, I don't really feel it. I'm oblivious most of the time to the responsibilities I've taken on. I wonder if there is a part of the brain that releases endorphine like chemicals that reassure me and make me believe that in the end everything will turn out great.

Tuesday and Wednesday were dark days for me. I had bronchitis. I broke my netbook. I had a major paper due which I approached completely incorrectly (it was supposed to be 8-10 pages long and I had over 19 pages of things I wanted to include.) I had things to take care of for my trip, and time was out of control. The hands on my watch were merciless.

I'm generally a very cheerful and optimistic person, but on Wednesday, I was grumpy.

I thought I had used up all my good luck, and bad luck was just going to keep coming my way. I dreaded what bad thing I would experience next.

Thankfully, the little chemicals in my brain sprayed their pink mist and I started to accept my circumstances, and I regrouped. I finished all my semester work by Wednesday night. I packed my netbook in a box to (hopefully) get repaired, and I reviewed my notes for my trip and realized things were moving along nicely.

My students complain I never show them movies, and today I showed them "Under the Same Moon" with Mexican actors Kate Del Castillo and Eugenio Derbez. Great movie. I showed it three times today and cried every single time. My students enjoyed it as well. We could all relate to the border crossing stories and the hardships that undocumented workers face in the U.S.

I am very grateful for the people who help me along the way. Today, I am especially grateful to Esperanza from The Office of International Programs, Jose, my thesis committee chair, Dr. PAM, English department head, and Dean Guerra. They all worked together to get me a letter I needed for my trip.

As I watched "Under the Same Moon," I thought about all the people we encounter each day who are down on their luck. Maybe they haven't bathed in a while. Maybe they're here looking for a better life. Maybe they haven't seen their loved ones in years. I think a good habit to develop is charity/love/compassion. Purposefully practice it until it becomes a part of our nature. 21 days.

xoxo
Myra