Urine in Writing

I’m in the Harold Wood Library, but it doesn’t exactly feel like a library. It’s really tiny and the front desk clerks are a bit chatty. There’s only one table to work on and I’m sharing it with a man who seems to be studying either math or science stuff. I don’t feel uncomfortable. I think I really am field independent (when you go into a bubble and ignore your surroundings.) In a way it’s bad to be field independent and a writer. I should be noticing every single detail. I will in a minute. Regardless, I got here about 11:30am after doing laundry and I started reading Brian Allen Carr’s thesis. I’m sorry. I hate to be a hater, but it’s just not fair. He’s a young, white, good looking boy with a young, white good looking wife, and an adorable little girl. He has a nice house and a good job. Happy lucky people shouldn’t write this good! I learned about writing from his introduction. One thing I didn’t agree with in the introduction is making dialogue as close to real speech as possible. Hearing real speech and reading it is different-- at least for me. However, I’ve read his first two stories and the dialogue is good—not literally real speech with all the umm’s and incoherencies real speech often has. He states he reads a lot. Emmy has said this as well. I love to read. Used to read two books a week, but going to school full time and working full time makes it difficult to read for fun. I’m hoping to correct that this summer. I have 2 boxes of books and one on the way. I have more books to read than clothes to wear during this trip.
Brian’s writing makes me feel uncomfortable. For the most part, I try to stay in my sparkly, pink, unicorn and butterfly infested world. I don’t like to think about unpleasant, gross, or vulgar things. During writing workshops, some classmates have cried when sharing a creative non-fiction story because it’s so difficult to share embarrassing, tragic stories. I have never written about the saddest, most embarrassing moments of my life. I think I need to explore the “urine” (Pablo Neruda advice) in my writing. I have a least two stories where this will be easier. In both these stories, the male protagonists have a warped love for their women. I’ve also gotten a few new story ideas.

Better get back to work.
Xoxo Myra